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Tyrion must protect the people of King's Landing and also try to keep Joffrey from, well, being too Joffrey.Īnd what does he think of all this? He loves it (26.Tyrion.35). With Lord Tywin fighting the Starks, Tyrion has taken the position in his father's place. Tyrion still has all that going for and against him, only now he has the added responsibility of being the Hand of the King. But because he was an unattractive dwarf, life could be pretty difficult for him, too-people tended to treat him harshly, and he had to use his smarts to get out of some tight situations. He was a smart and funny guy, who lived the playboy lifestyle thanks to his father's fat checkbook. You might recall Tyrion from A Game of Thrones. Readers simply love this guy, and A Clash of Kings is his moment to shine, since Tyrion will be taking over for Ned Stark as most prolific point-of-view character. He's funny, witty, and gets no respect, no respect at all. It’s your one redeeming quality, that and your cheekbones.Tyrion Lannister is the Rodney Dangerfield of Westeros. In my experience, eloquent men are right every bit as often as imbeciles. There’s nothing more powerful than a good story. What unites people? Armies? Gold? Flags? Stories.
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You’re in the great game now, and the great game is terrifying. I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you, I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it! – Tyrion Lannister Watching your vicious b*stard die gave me more relief than a thousand lying wh*res. I did not kill Joffrey but I wish that I had. If my father wants someone to get f*cked I know where he can start. We Make Peace With Our Enemies, Not Our Friends. I trust the eyes of an honest man more than I trust what everybody knows.
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#Tyrion lannister quotes funny full
Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin? Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my c*ck. – Tyrion LannisterĮvery time we deal with an enemy, we create two more. And you need to see things the way they do if you’re going to anticipate their actions, respond effectively, and beat them. You need to take your enemy’s side if you’re going to see things the way they do. – Tyrion LannisterĪll dwarves are b*stards in their father’s eyes. – Tyrion LannisterĬut off his manhood and feed it to the goats. – Tyrion LannisterĪ long and bloody tale. Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. We’ve had vicious kings, and we’ve had idiot kings, but I don’t know if we’ve ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king! – Tyrion Lannister Why are all the gods such vicious c*nts? Where is the god of t*ts and wine? – Tyrion Lannister The lord of light wants his enemies burned. I remember reading an old sailor’s proverb, ‘Piss on wildfire and your c*ck burns off.’ – Tyrion Lannister It’s even better luck to suck a dwarf’s c*ck. I suppose he stares at you longingly because he’s hopeful for a successful military alliance. That’s what I do: I drink and I know things. – Tyrion LannisterĪnd a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face. Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine. Sometimes possession is an abstract concept. I should have let Stannis kill you all! – Tyrion Lannister I saved this city, and all your worthless lives. Monsters are dangerous and, just now, kings are dying like flies. Perhaps you should speak to me more softly then. Whereas life, ah, life is full of possibilities. Sometimes Nothing Is The Hardest Thing To Do.